Welcome to 2025! I hope your new year is off to a good start.
As we welcome in the new year, it is not uncommon to start thinking of new year’s resolutions: changes we would like to make in our lives, usually based on improving some not-so-great habits that dominated the previous year. These often take the form of weight loss or becoming more healthy through exercise and diet, decluttering, creating a better routine or system of organization, improving or expanding our social networks, etc. Many of these resolutions start out with the best of intentions, but are often not set up for success, creating an adverse effect instead of a positive one.
A recent article published by CBS News’ Sara Moniuszko states that, “While nearly half of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, only about 25% of people actually stay committed to their resolutions after just 30 days, according to Columbia University. And even fewer, less than 10%, accomplish their goals.“
So how do you improve your chances of keeping your resolutions and turning them into lasting habits? Many resolutions are goal-focused, i.e. focused on the end result instead of the process. In focusing on a single result—like losing 40 pounds by the end of the year—we ignore the system. Our system is our way of life: our environment, how we operate on a day to day basis. It can either set us up for success, or doom us to failure. As James Clear, author of the book Atomic Habits, states, “It sounds simple, but a habit can occur only if you are capable of doing it.”
Using weight loss as an example, let’s say “Jane Doe” commits to losing 20 pounds by the end of June. Jane picks a diet to go on, decides she is going to exercise three times a week at the local gym, then starts tracking her progress with a weight loss app. The diet ends up not compatible with the usual foods that she eats, requires a lot of prep time, and is thus hard to adhere to. Jane works overtime a lot, and doesn’t have a lot of energy for food preparation. The gym she chose to attend for exercise classes is 25 minutes from her house, so she doesn’t go as often as she resolves to because of lack of time and motivation to drive out of her way. Six months later, and not only has Jane not lost weight, but she’s actually gained five pounds. She didn’t stick to her diet, and gave up on exercising after only a couple of weeks.
Jane is not the failure: her system is.
In the above scenario, a better approach would be for Jane to examine her system first, then determine a plan (in this case, how and what she normally eats and how to adjust that, and how much free time she can reliably manage to exercise, given her work requirements).
If you set yourself up for success by realistically examining your system and where you can work with that system to make healthy–sometimes smaller–changes, you are much more likely to succeed. Smaller changes turn into larger ones in time, once a habit is formed.
In addition to examining our systems, Atomic Habits suggests that changing a habit involves identifying with that new habit, even before we feel we’ve achieved success. He cites the example of two people trying to quit smoking. When the first person is offered a cigarette, he says, “No, thank you. I’m trying to quit smoking.” When the second person is offered a cigarette, he replies, “No, thank you. I don’t smoke.” Though both people are trying to quit smoking, the first one still identifies as a smoker, the second identifies as a non-smoker. Though it may seem like a small difference, identifying with your goal and embodying that mindset sets you up for greater success.
Let’s go back to the weight loss example. If you are trying to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle, you might ask yourself when faced with binge-eating a bag of chips, “Is this a choice that a healthy person would make?” By identifying as a healthy person now rather than a person trying to lose weight, you are much more likely to decline that bag of chips.
I highly recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. If you are trying to change any habit in your life or develop new ones, this book is invaluable. You can find it here:
Another great series of books for keeping New Year’s resolutions is through Habit Nest. https://habitnest.com/
I’m currently using their yoga book and decluttering book, both of which are wonderful. For the first time in my life, I have been able to stick to a yoga routine, thanks to Habit Nest’s The Yoga book. I know I don’t have time to attend yoga classes due to my varied work schedule, but I do have time to follow the exercises in my book on my own time. And instead of boldly proclaiming that I will practice yoga every day, I realistically looked at my schedule and found that I can reliably set aside five mornings a week for yoga. Going even further into my lifestyle, knowing that I’m often tired from work and caregiving, I set my goal for practicing yoga at four days a week. For over two months now, I have met my goal every week. I worked with my system instead of against it, and have thus been successful.
To help you on your journey of turning a resolution into a thoughtful commitment (i.e. habit!), consider the following resources:
For weight loss, exercise, and/or healthy eating:
www.habitnest.com (specifically https://habitnest.com/collections/fitness-habits)
dailyom.com (click on the Courses tab and explore by topic) There are so many different healthy classes to take here, working at your own speed and price range.
For decluttering and organizing:
Both of the above websites also offer books and classes on decluttering and other topics. You might consider these:
https://www.dailyom.com/courses/home-organizing/
If podcasts are your thing, I highly recommend Andrew Mellen’s podcast: https://www.andrewmellen.com/podcast
You can also find him on Spotify and YouTube, and anywhere else you typically listen to podcasts. He’s a great organizer, and has some smart, easy-to-follow tips for getting your life in order.
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In creating a new habit, always practice compassion for yourself. Learning a new habit takes time and patience and requires a different way of thinking than what’s already programmed into your brain. You’re likely to have setbacks, so be prepared to cut yourself some slack, then keep going.
Wishing you all the best in the new year and beyond!
Amanda
Amanda Sullivan, Maed, lcmhc 